Being one who was born in Malaysia, the topic of sex never came up until my very late teens. This is understandable, considering Malaysia is a conservative country that does not usually talk about such topics so openly. So you can understand me when I say that I never understood when people were talking about sex or even sexual innuendos. 

In fact, the first time I was actually exposed to sex in a direct manner is when I decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey, and let me tell you, that is not a book you want to learn about sex from. You’ll either have a virgin heart and be traumatized, or you’ll be tempted by certain fetishes and desires for the darker side of sex. Either way, I recommend other books for your first exposure if you’re not sure who to ask. Despite all that, know that sex is not something to be afraid of. It’s not scary, nor is it a taboo. In fact, it’s human nature and completely normal. 

Having a sex life can be beneficial in many ways. Having a healthy sex life is even better. So, how do we have a healthy sex life? I’m here to give you a few tips on how to have a healthy sex life. 

Research

As weird as this sounds, research about sex. If you’re shy or afraid of being ridiculed if you ask someone, fear not. There is always another option. You can look up sex in books at the book store or on the internet. It may be embarrassing for you at first, but trust me, going into sex headfirst without preparation is the worst. Never mind embarrassment. That will be the last of your worries. You will have to know about protection, what goes on during sex, what is okay with you and what isn’t. These are just some things you should keep in mind before you have sex. 

Pace Yourself

Know that before, during and after having sex, you can always take a break. You should not fall into it headfirst without preparation. You must know that it is best you pace yourself and go at it at a speed that you are comfortable with. Should you rush yourself, you may hurt yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally. Do not force yourself. Remember that your safety and comfort come first before anything else. Indulge yourself in other sexual activities such as kissing and masturbating if you’re feeling nervous. If you are still hesitant about sex in the next, that’s a red flag telling you that you need to stop and rethink the situation. It is crucial to remember that consent is a must. 

Masturbation

You don’t have to force yourself to have sex with your partner just to get that orgasm you’re craving. There’s always masturbation. Sometimes, taking the time to care for yourself is the best solution to solving your problems and worries. Indulge in masturbation once in a while and see how it can help improve your sex life. Sometimes, you just need to give yourself a little loving, by yourself. 

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